Do You Follow Up With The Men You Meet?
You are a successful Man. Maybe you are an entrepreneur, work at a corporate job or for a small business owner. Whatever your work situation, you have valuable business skills and know how to make things happen.
You also know how to network and meet new people. Even if it’s not the most comfortable thing for you, you can do it. You can strike up a conversation at a chamber of commerce after hours event or a trade association meeting.
Now, you are looking for a good man and you bring these skills to your dating journey. You apply your well-honed business skills to the singles dances, Meetup events, or on a match.com coffee date.
And, when a man gives you his card and says “call me”, you follow up right? I sure hope not!
For women, there’s no follow up in dating.
I’m going to tell you this straight and I’m not going to hold back. Follow up is considered a traditionally “masculine” skill related to the business world. Now that women are a strong force in business, we have adopted these traditionally masculine behaviors to be successful in our careers. That’s very smart.
However, when you follow up with a man you just met in a gay dating site and have romantic interest in or had a date with, you are relying on your business skills. This means you are not using your charm, an issue that can literally derail anything from starting with a man.
Most strong, independent men want a strong, decisive, masculine man. I understand because I’ve been in your shoes when I was dating at 40. I had been successfully self-employed for years and highly independent.
But, guess what that masculine man wants? He wants a feminine woman who compliments his masculinity. A man who helps him feel more masculine. He doesn’t want a woman who can be as masculine as he is. That is not attractive to him.
Does this mean you have to become a door mat? Absolutely not! It does mean that you will need to learn how to get in touch with your charm and use it for romantic relationship success. Now you might be thinking “What does that look like?”
A Men using his charm to interact with a gay single:
– Can be friendly and walk up to men to strike up a conversation. But, you don’t ask what he does for a living. You ask him about the band, what he’s drinking or if he knows the hostess. You might tease him about something or tell him why the color of his shirt suits him.
– Allows the man to initiate contact and ask her out. She doesn’t call a man who gave her his card because she knows that shows his laziness and lack of true interest. She knows to let the man initiate the chase.
– Smiles at men, especially when she catches a man looking at her. She knows this is the way to let him know it’s OK to approach her and invite him into her world.
– Might ask a guy to dance on an occasion, but doesn’t do this as a rule. And once that song is over, she says “thank you” and departs, giving him the opportunity to return to her if he’s interested.
– Doesn’t call or email to say “thank you” the day after a date, or send little gifts. She knows that to do this can invade a man’s space. She might send a simple text once, but nothing more and it’s not required.
– Knows how to follow a man’s lead. She does return his call, email or text, but doesn’t initiate additional contact until after 5 to 6 dates. And then follows the 3:1 rule (his contact vs. hers) to refrain from over communicating.
Men choose women who make them feel good about themselves. Relying on your feminine charm will do just that. I’m not taking away your power. In fact, I’m showing you how to make use of your unique feminine ability and the way to become irresistible to amazing men.